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With my previous job now a fading memory, I am embracing the freedom and independence of self employment, and I feel so much better for it. And, as my new endeavours progress and we become more embedded in the area, I begin to realise how nice it is to be part of a community.
As we hurtle towards another new year, I can’t help but ponder the significance of the one we’re leaving. Not only has the last 12 months marked a gradual but reassuring consolidation of our move here, it's also involved some difficult life changes - not least a family bereavement. Its been difficult managing emotions amidst this backdrop of turbulence, but at least my move to self employment has left me feeling increasingly balanced and collected, and more prepared for such challenges. Although a couple of months has now passed since I made this break, its only recently that the full extent of this change has become apparent. As the thick facade of stresses, falsity and baggage gradually peels away, I have slowly started to become re-acquainted with the old me. I am more relaxed, my interactions feel more authentic, and my sense of creativity has become central again. On a more practical level, I now rarely stare at a computer screen, I don’t attend any meetings, and inane work-related emails have gone from a daily deluge, to a thing of the past. And, as these once deep rooted activities fade to a distant memory, all elements of my current employment are really starting to blossom. The holiday let is firmly established, with excellent reviews; the market garden is close to production and looking great; and the town maintenance job has become a regular fixture in my weekly routine, and its great to finally start giving them all my full attention. Although the safe predictability has gone, I feel infinitely better shaping my own future, and living on the edge of my own sword.
I spoke in a previous post (The beginning is nigh) about my grapple with self-confidence, and questioned the idea that a structured workplace was a good source of confidence building. Having juggled these "unstructured" roles for a few months now, I can categorically confirm my sense of confidence and self-worth have exponentially increased - and so has my energy. Not only am I more connected to the elements, more connected to myself and more connected to my family - I am also connecting with the community. Regularly sweeping the streets of a small rural Welsh town has really helped to ground me with the population, and absorb the stories hidden behind the many characters within it. Its strange that people shout my name and wave as they pass me in a town that, just two years ago, was a strange and unfamiliar place. What is certainly true, is that I greet more people now then I ever did in the city, and the benefits of a "community" are becoming increasingly apparent. I do sometimes miss the city, and the buzz it generates, but I can see there is a comparable hum of life, spirit and dynamism in these rural hubs, albeit amongst the familiarity of the same people. This was never really a major consideration, but I can see how small communities can be engaging and mutually supportive and, despite my antisocial disposition, its something I'm surprisingly attracted too. Moreover, its just the sort of environment in which a market garden enterprise would flourish, and already word is quickly getting around about our small farm and the produce we intend to grow, without a single flyer being posted.
On the farm, Charlie and I have started to finish the permanent beds, with the remainder of the 30 tonnes of compost we ordered. The track that was dug in spring is being widened and covered with stone to improve traction, courtesy of "Badger", the lovely farmer who lives further down the valley. The poly-tunnel has arrived and is waiting in situ for us to have the time to get it erected, in the same way the wood for the packing station is waiting for us to construct it. There's loads to do, but the added support and energy of Charlie has really pushed the project on, and I feel as confident as I can be that we will be in full production come spring. To this aim, we have ordered our first seeds, with two varieties of Garlic first on the list to be planted, just before Christmas.
Back at The Smithy, I have continued to slowly chip away at the building jobs, and recently installed a side door in the former forge. Plans are now formally submitted for the extension and, all being well, I can crack on with this in the new year and finally start getting the house into shape.
Until then, I am eagerly awaiting a big family Christmas reunion, where the efforts through the year will be rewarded by an extended family Christmas dinner in Gwalia's old shop. I am determined not to stress about the sprouts being trodden into the expensive Ikea rug, and the threat of hot pan marks on the oak worktops......... Whatever happens, I'm just going to enjoy the company and appreciate the venue.
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